Wear Love, Not Makeup

What is perfection, the ad in the magazine you read?
Does he/she have a deep soul or makes life more meaningful?
Does he/she contribute something into this world that money can’t buy?
Are they funny, charismatic, honest, trustworthy, or kind?
The answer is no they are just a falsified image of materialism and a manipulation of our human desires.

Embrace the person in the mirror for that person can strive to be all of these things.
To inflict happiness amongst themselves and others, to smile at the world and have the world smile back, and make others feel safe and loved in such a big world.

Embrace your imperfections, love yourself, and you will be perfect.
Embrace your flaws, and for those who love you, will never notice they were there at all.
We all strive to be the best we can be, but start from the outside instead of inside.
Buy this product, pay this price, in the end you’ll look real nice, but is that real beauty?
There is no price tag on real beauty that is resistant against age and time, but it can be found within all of us, if we just start with the mind.

No makeup, but the love she wears, out wears all her flaws and imperfections, making her the image of perfection.

No makeup, but the love she wears, out wears all her flaws and imperfections, making her the image of perfection.

Growing to Learn & Learning to Grow

Growth cannot happen without consistent change, just like a flower to become one it must endure different stages of life. A flower just simply isn’t brought into this world a flower.

Afraid of heights? As you reach greater heights the problems that you once faced become so small, down below you can see all the problems, trauma, and heartache that you surpassed. Not to say you didn’t scream, cry , or go through hell, but with all things they heal with time. As long as you hold your head up high, you’ll be as great as the stars and blue skies.

Afraid to fall? To fall and to fail, doesn’t mean that life doesn’t still have wonderful things planned for you. When you sit so low, faced down on the floor, how will it ever find you? It will just walk right by you. Take a few before your next move. Get back up and stand tall, and just like that your already one step up from that fall.

Afraid to grow? That isn’t a question when it comes to becoming something great, you should be afraid not to grow.

Regurgitated Thoughts or Meaningful Dreams? Let the Left Hand Answer…

No left hand left behind! Bad joke...I know! But that big flower is definitely no joke!

No left hand left behind! Bad joke…I know! But that big flower is definitely no joke!

I woke up one morning only to find myself still grasping onto reality, did I just wake from another reality? Unable to focus my body began to dress itself for work and try to find my other shoe, my mind though was still somewhere else trying to make sense of the strange vivid events that just took place a few hours prior.

It all began as what seemed to be a video arcade that led to my apartment that I live in right now but instead of me and my roommate it was an Asian lady who began to cut my hair and when I turned to the mirror she had cut it all off and this happens to be a deep rooted fear of mine. In complete shock, the first thing I try to do is tell myself that this is a dream and I will wake up with hair again, but even in the panic I did not wake instead the Asian woman grabbed her kid and fled the scene. Roaming through now what was an empty arcade I run into two of my sisters and start climbing this dark hilltop to what seems to be an intimate concert in San Francisco and incubus is playing and there’s just naked raver chicks everywhere, eventually come to find that they were just robots and I find the real singer to be in an empty kitchen, missing someone that he loved.

I might just be clinically insane, but everything felt so real and even though in slumber I was nowhere near emotion less. And as I woke up the remnants of an absurd dream still lingered, was it just a cluster of thoughts purged from my mind or was it something much more than that? When in doubt ask your left hand or whatever hand is less dominant…

A roommate of mine once took a course in dream interpretation and shared with me the technique, one day I tried it and was surprised to what became of it and began to do further research. Writing with your less dominant hand helps increase brain activity and connect with the other side of the brain your least frequently using.

Example if you are right handed that means the left hemisphere of your brain is more dominant I.e. the logical side of the mind. The right hemisphere of the brain is the more creative and imaginative side of the mind. Usually a hand at birth will be more dominant depending on which side of the brain is more dominant. Weirdly I write with my right, but played sports better with my left hand. Anyways though let me start getting to the point…

A trick into interpreting dreams is to write the dream down and then ask questions and answer them with your less dominant hand, for me it is always pretty interesting. As I begin to write with my right an answer appears in my mind, but the moment I switch to write with my left it begins to write a completely different interpretation. Lucia Capacchione touches base with this in one of her books, that I haven’t read but she is an art therapist that uses these techniques to help people with their addictions and all sorts of problems. Probably be something worth reading, but ultimately it encompasses using this method to bring activity to another part of ourselves furthering our understanding of who we are.

I know this is all so deep haha, maybe it will make more sense once you give it a try yourself, just remember to always be open to the possibilities, but anyways here is what the left hand had to say (if I can even read what the hell it wrote)…

Q: Why was everything set in a video arcade?
LH: The video arcade represents environment, attraction, the draw

Probably related to my recent move to New York City and how I feel about it.

Q: What about the bad haircut, my worst fear?
LH: The bad haircut is the expression of if something is wrong you say it, you let that person know how you feel.

This could relate to the feelings I’m not expressing to someone that’s just causing a bit of mood swings every now and then, causing me at times to be neutral/cool/happy to sad/stressed/upset.

Q: Whats the connection with robots?
LH: Giving or invoking feelings without knowing the person.

I am a readily friendly being and tend to see people as good beings before I ever even know their names. This is a somewhat dangerous trait of mine that has gotten me into problematic situations.

Q: Why was that man having a robot pose as him and why was he missing that girl?
LH: Life has it’s phases and at one time or another we realize that there’s an extraordinary feeling of being selfless without being taken advantage of that we long for.

Selfish and selfless is the door that opened and the one that closed accordingly. I always have been so selfless and taken advantage of, that this has robbed me of the energy needed to make my goals happen. So this move into New York has made me more aware of that and for now I’m selfish but that want never goes away of having a truly beneficial and loving relationship with someone.

A lot of these thoughts get to the core of some of my emotions and feelings, this is all raw pieces of me. And at anytime if you do remember a dream, why not explore what you could possibly be feeling through another side of yourself. It might confirm some affirmations you thought of yourself or bring about new emotions that could help you further understand what you need and want in life. So when things start to make no sense take another perspective, tap into the knowledge you have that’s just sitting there waiting for you to discover.

The Art of Riding Subways

imageIn a city like nyc you cross paths with more strangers than friends especially when none of your friends live in the city to begin with. But I’m not one to sulk in my solitude (only on special occasions), I actually feel more connected to people but in a different way. All the interaction that happens in New York City is with only strangers some I’ll see again most I won’t. In these moments though between two strangers there is an underline sense of genuineness. And I enjoy the energy exchange between the immense of people living in this city, most days…

When i make my way onto the train it’s filled with faces that I’ve never seen before questions come into play where are they going, who are these people, everything is so vague. It’s like I’m looking at a Picasso or a form of abstract art, and my mind begins to construct meaning. Looking at these train full of people, what do I begin to feel? And that leads to my words bringing light to what I see and what I feel, and in a way that’s art.

 A Mother is No Stranger

There was a woman and with her she had her toddler and a stroller carrying her newborn. The lady must’ve been no taller than 5 feet and she had a certain beauty about her that I don’t usually recognize in all women, what it was I still don’t know, maybe it was the fact that she was such a small lady,mother in a city all by herself in this moment gripping tightly to each one of her babies though the toddler was almost half her height. She needed to be somewhere and she wasn’t and couldn’t at this point leave her kids behind. It just shows how deep the maternal instincts lie within all us women to protect and nurture our young with such selflessness.

As she left the subway the obstacle of getting a stroller up the stairs faced her and as the doors began to shut I could see a man in a suit help to stop and carry the stroller up the staircase. The subway doors shut and I smiled for seeing that type of kindness, the kindness that most think is absent in the big tough city of New York. In fact I see this form of kindness reinacted time and time again on my commutes in the city. In a place like New York with people from all over the world beautiful moments are bound to present themselves and as a new New Yorker I’m happy to partake in what this new path has to offer.

Intro

My arrival into New York, where my flight was the only break from work

My arrival into New York, where my flight was the only break from work, leaving behind all familiarity on the west coast.

What does “I” represent in the scheme of life. Something that is ordinary, mudane, and also beautiful, bellus, at the same time. Life can never fully be lived without these two things, good and bad. They shake and stabilize the ground we walk on, reminding us that we are indeed existing on this earth within bodies that cast shadows on the ground behind us and within those shadows lie the past that has shaped who we are in this moment. Our shadows are continuously shaped by light. And the light reminds us of the life left to live, the future awaiting, the pain and love waiting to be felt. and as we feel them and they are gone, they are never forgotten in our shadows.

I am just a girl, experiencing the emotions that exist within most of us, but through different trials, the most recent…moving to New York City without ever having been and with no familiar faces, twice as scared than excited and ready to succeed or fail at any given moment .